A good friend asked me on Facebook why I was lacking in enthusiasm for Democrats as another fucking Election Day approaches. My reply follows. Any similes or metaphors you would like to add?
You really can't understand a lack of enthusiasm for the Democratic Party? Really? Explaining it feels like having to explain a joke: once it's explained, it won't be funny anyway, so maybe it's not worth explaining. But I'll try.
Getting excited - not just doing my (dubious) duty and voting, but getting UP for it, fired up, ready to go and all that - for the Democratic Party is a lot like getting excited at the news that there will be a Matrix 4 movie.
It's like trying to get it up for a date who just told you she'd do you in spite of the fact that you smell kinda funny and the dinner you bought her is making her a little sick.
It's like learning you won a free trip to California, and then finding out it's for a Trekkie Convention in Modesto.
It's like learning you inherited property . . . in Española.
It's like getting excited about being on hold for only 20 minutes. Or like being excited about going to the dentist because you don't have to have ALL of your teeth pulled.
It's like Rosemary being excited about having a baby.
You can make a case for all of those things having upsides. (Hey, Matrix 4 means someone is working!) And you can say that these developments are better than bad news (say, a new Paris Hilton movie.) But getting excited about them requires a level of compartmentalization that seems unnatural - or maybe supernatural.
So, I've almost never missed voting in an election. I will probably, if only by force of habit, vote in this one. Unless, you know, it's cloudy or something. But no, I don't think I'll be putting streamers on my car and honking through the city at night. But if you feel differently, go for it.